Hustle vs. Happy (My Takeaways from Gary Keller's Mega Camp Talk)

One of my mentors in business and life is Gary Keller. His perspectives on life have been transformational for me over the past decade. So when I got to hear a billionaire like Gary have a conversation about “the hustle culture vs. happiness,” I made sure to take lots of notes!

Here are a few of his thoughts and frameworks that I found most helpful:

We all define “success” differently in various areas of our lives. At the core, we all desire “happiness.” We use different words in different categories of our life - yet the common theme of what we are all yearning for is happiness. In our job, we want to be productive; in our business, we want to be successful; in our relationships, we want to be loved. We want to feel healthy in our physical health journey, at peace spiritually, wealthy when we consider our finances, and accomplished when we think of our personal life. And at the center of it all, we want all these things because we want to be “happy.”

So wanting to be happy seems to be a great focus for life. And we all seem to chase it. And love when we catch it. And hate when we lose it. Here’s where it gets tricky. Or, as Gary would say, here is the Myth of Happiness. The belief is that happiness is one-dimensional.

“Many believe that happiness is conditional. ‘When I ______, I’ll be happy.’ But that’s a lie. Happiness is much bigger than that. One aspect of happiness can be triggered by circumstances. But that kind of happiness is the most fleeting and the least important.”

So, if happiness isn’t simply circumstantial, what’s a better way to think about it? Gary defines happiness as: “A state of well-being characterized by positive emotions or a sense of fulfillment. It’s an emotion that comes in three dimensions.”

1. How I feel about a MOMENT in time.

2. How I feel OVER time.

3. And how I feel ABOUT my TIME.

“Most people focus most of their attention on the first dimension, almost never consider the third until it’s too late, and are rarely aware the second is a choice.”

Here’s a great clarifying truth to share with those we love: Emotions in time can be conditional. Our emotions over time should never be. Your emotions over time are a choice. Choose purposefully.

And if the second dimension of happiness is that it is a choice, what is the third dimension? It's the long look back. At the end of life, we are able to look back and say “I’m glad I did” more than we say “I wish I had.” And how can we have an awareness NOW, in the day-to-day, to live a life of no regrets?

Here are three questions we can ask ourselves to continually refocus on this third dimension of happiness:

1. Am I prioritizing my key relationships? Do those who matter most to me get my best energy?

2. Do I make big commitments? And do I honor the commitments I make?

3. Have I found a purpose in life greater than myself and does my schedule reflect this?